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All About Ass 2
Maybe I just live in a totally social conscious town, or watch too many other tv stations instead of Fox, but all I’ve heard about the last week has been Earth Day. Now don’t get me wrong, I agree the earth is all far-out, hip, groovy and happening…and if I saw Mother Nature I would not hesitate to let her have a taste of my cock before I plowed it into her. What more respect for the earth could anybody expect from me? But I would like to use this porn review as a chance to bring out a movie to remind us that the earth isn’t the only far-out groovy thing to celebrate, and that we can also enjoy the glory of a full moon.
In porn, just like in life, there are two sets of sluts…first you have your cock and pussy and tit loving, ball sucking fuck-me fuck-me basic slut. Then you have the chicks in this movie…which is your basic slut plus the eagerness to take it in every hole as well as getting more than one filled at the same time…the super-sluts around which so many intense splooge sessions for serious jackers revolve.
Three cheers for the chicks in All About Ass 2. Since I’m doing this review as a ‘Moon Day’ review I must say this is the most awesome movie to do it to.
Four scenes to jam out to while you watch these super-sluts in action. They do not hesitate to use these cocks in any way that they can, and go totally crazy loud while they explode in hole filled orgasm after hole filled orgasm until finally they get to show us that their love for cum is equal to their love for cock.
All About Ass 2 highlights ass action at its finest, gets four cocks-up and the recommendation that you don’t forget about the Moon in all the hub-bub about Earth Day, and make sure you get some anal action tonight.
Chaos In The Jungle
People have accused me of being a racist, but this is highly unfair and I think watching and somewhat enjoying this movie shows how accepting I am. My appreciation for nympho negresses rises just like my cock did during the final rocking scene of this movie, and one day when I own my harem I’m gonna make damn sure to have a few bodacious black bunnies included…see, I’m sexist not racist, just like this movie.
Back in the archaic old days of Mr. Tibbs, it was a hanging offense for black dudes to go nailing what we would now call milf’s. If you ask me it’s a little redundant to hang the hung, but these modern day Millie’s certainly take advantage of the extra meat these well-hung ebony motherfuckers are packing and get jammed like there is no tomorrow blasting your senses with their sheer sluttiness as they get jammed.Then for a polarity switch around in the final scene we have the nymphoid negress I referred to earlier, and even though it’s an interracial movie she also prefers the dark meat when she gets down n nasty.
Chaos In The Jungle gets three cocks-up for decent jackable material and the moral that if you’ve gotta white wife, no matter how much she likes the white meat…one day she will try the dark.
Toe Jam 6
Now like many of you I could say that foot fetishing isn’t my bag baby, but foot fetish or not, unless you’re a fag fetish, this movie, Toe Jam 6 is worth killing time jacking to simply because, even if you don’t have a foot fetish I bet you do have a wet pussy fetish, and fuck, do these sluts ever get hot and turned getting their tender tootsies titillated.
Now if I was a foot fetish freak I would take this movie and edit it because even though the chicks are hot and their sluttiness factor is high…the actual sex itself is not a priority in this movie…like most of the actual intercourse is a cock fucking feet instead of pussy. So I would take some nasty all holes filled, no holes barred slutfest gangbang creampie flick and edit these two movies together so that the hot sluts in Toe Jam 6 could get to be in the fuck film that they rightly deserve to be in, and enjoy whatever foot freakiness I may have going.
Toe Jam 6 gets three cocks-up. It would be a two, but I can never say no to true sluttiness, so they get an extra point.
Double Dipped 2
There are certain people in the world who have helped in many of civilization’s advances; architects, physicists, philosophers, and sluts. All of these people understood that in many situations, and hypothetical situations there were holes in reality that needed to be filled.
This film, Double Dipped 2, is a giant kudos to all of these people who have understood that holes need to be filled…well, the sluts anyway.
Man this movie is totally slutteriffic, sploogetastic and downright nasty to the extreme. Four scenes…any of which you can blow your load to, and they must have searched for some of the sluttiest ebony sex stars they could find. These yummy chocolate cum suckers’ only problem is that they are under achievers…cos man, when you have chicks as slutty as this wanting to take it in every hole, begging the dudes fucking them to delve deeper into their dusky goodness, it just becomes a fudge mountain of fuck goodness.
The cocks that these sluts are being slammed with are fucking huge and Double Dipped 2 gets four hard cocks-up for its downright slutty action. Next time make it a gangbang and they’ll get five.
Fantasies of the Flesh
Take a ride in the sky…on a ship fantasize…all your dreams will come true…man, Earth Wind and Fire understood bringing fantasies to life as well as setting the groove and getting the funk out. Now Fantasies of the Flesh has some semi-known pornstars sharing their fantasies with us. I guess these fuck-models have had their originality and imagination fucked right out of them.
Now you would think that with everything these porn actors and actresses have done, get to do, and have seen, that they would have broader than just standard top ten list fuck-fantasies. It seemed to me more like they were reading a script of what their fantasies were (or trying to read them) probably based on a cosmopolitan magazine poll of top ten fantasies.
Fantasizing about being locked up and then having some group sex, squirting chicks, two girls on a guy, semi-exotic locations (but nowhere that the average John and Jane Doe don’t go)…c’mon man, these are things that these porn actors and actresses do all the time in their other movies. If these really are their fantasies, then at least they are incredibly lucky in that they get their fantasies fulfilled so often. The sex in the movie was decent enough, but if they are fuckstars, then it damn well better be.
Fantasies of the Flesh gets two cocks-up for some superior photography as well as decent sex, but unless you’re shopping for a movie based on some funky photography work as well as Ken and Barbie fuck-models, I would look for something else to watch.
Bollywood Bang 2
I may be a little bit of an ignorant red-necked pervo at times, but I’ve gotta say that in a whacked out way this is the kinkiest movie I’ve ever seen because as far as I understand it, these Hindu/Muslim/Middle Eastern religious types are totally uptight and their bitches aren’t even supposed to show off their skin (though I’d kinda figured it was just cos they were hairy and ugly) and therefore they totally are going to their demon infested Hindu/Muslim hell…kinda like some European film of nuns having sex or whatever.
So anyway, just like those freaky Germans showed us after we let down the wall, let them loose to let their inhibitions run wild (essentially letting the animals out of the cages)…repression breeds decadence and after watching this movie, from now on when I’m walking down the street, I’m going to look a little closer to try and get a peek under that shawl or whatever it’s called that they wear…maybe take my cell phone and go for some up-veil shots at the local Homeland Security Office.
Three scenes of surprisingly sizzling sex show that regardless of customs, religions, and political differences…a slut is a slut. These chicks are totally eager to gobble up whatever cock is put in front of them and they don’t much care which lips or hole do the gobbling.
I thank Bollywood Bang 2 for expanding my perceptions and give it an open-minded four cocks-up and I look forward to reviewing some animated middle eastern porn where the prophet Mohammed bangs a harem.
Cum Swingers
Cum Swingers is a sploogetastically cum soaked orgasmic odyssey into the world of slut-filled sex. If cheaply produced porn had such a thing as a casting agent, the dude who picked these chicks should be highly commended and rewarded for knowing true sluttiness when he sees it. While the opening minutes of each scene show us that these chicks can’t act worth shit, the rest of the movie shows us that they can fuck and suck like true pros.
Cum Swingers is one of those rare porn movies that leave you wanting more even after it’s finished, and I’m willing to bet that if your thumb hits the fast forward button it’s only by accident as you’re having a little seizure of pleasure while jacking it to this movie.
Even though it does leave you wanting more, Cum Swingers’ three sextastic scenes are definitely filled with enough action to satisfy you. Two chicks enjoying each other, sharing a dude, getting fucked by a couple dudes, group scenes, creampies, facials, anal pounding…it’s all here man.
Cum Swingers gets a rare five cocks-up!!!!!
Chunky Slumber Party
Hollywood is filled with tons of ‘black movies’ most notably starring Ice Cube, or Ice T, or some type of Ice anyway, where they have these parties that just ‘rock the house dawg.’ Well, Chunky Slumber Party sure as hell rocks the house too with some hard pounding, booty banging, titty swaying orgasms, and sex scenes that bring to mind a small earthquake as the tremors of pleasure flow for these BBW sluts, and Chunky Slumber Party was surprisingly better than I thought it would be, which is ironic because if porn movies could be said to have any meaning or messages, the meaning behind this one would be, don’t make negative presumptions.
Four fun-time fatty fuck scenes result for our pleasure from a horny but stupid dude looking for some hot female flesh and some sweet ass titties for his enjoyment, and instead because he’s a fucking moron he ends up getting more than he wanted or bargained for, but discovering that maybe what he really wanted was what he ended up getting after all, cos damn these chicks may be the size of one and a half to two other chicks, but they’ve also got the horniness and sluttiness of any one and a half to two chicks as well.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Click here to view Chunky Slumber Party ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
There’s nothing really nichey, kinky or gangbangy, but the sex in this movie is surprisingly way hotter than I assumed it would be, cos these chicks love cock and pussy and obviously get off on showing us how much they enjoy their carnal college pleasures.
Chunky Slumber Party gets three and a half hard cocks-up and if it’s like those other rock the house movies, maybe we’ll get treated to a sequel.
Older Women Younger Men 8
Milfs…man, there are so many milf movies, milf sites, milf jokes…the term milf has become a freakin sex icon. I don’t know whether to be jealous of today’s generation or just shake my head in awe cos man, with the sexual liberation of today where these babes that are a little ripe but still juicy enough to be picked can freely get it on with these younger dudes…it blows my mind as much as it blows their loads.
Now Older Women Younger Men 8 does not push many sexual boundaries or have any material of special interest beyond the age and sexual experience between the performers and these chicks are not exceptionally hot but the sex sizzles with a life of its own as in scene after scene these cock-craving milfs make the most out of their twenty minute to half hour fuck sessions and throw themselves into a state of cock frenzy as they ravish these guys with wild abandon.
I guess when autumn meets spring it boils into a tempestuous storm.
Older Women Younger Men 8 gets three cocks-up for its hot genuine sex…there’s nothing like watching a cock-craving milf enjoy herself, but this movie would’ve gotten a higher rating if they’d added a bit of group action.
Fan Fever
I know I’ve said it a bajillion times and will probably end up having to say it a bajillion more, but storylines have no place in porn because the writers can’t write, the actors and actresses can’t act and let’s face it, the viewers generally don’t give a shit about a story, we just want to see some hot sex and get off while watching it. Fan Fever is a slight exception to this rule because it applies a sense of irony…probably without even realizing it.
So anyways, some blonde bimbo chick wants to be an actress and for some reason seems to think that daytime soap actresses are the same thing as real actresses…I guess kinda like how some pornstars think that being a pornstar makes them a movie star, and being a porn actress makes them an actress. Sadly I think the sluts in this movie have too much splooge on their brains from getting skull-fucked so much and probably miss these ironic parallels. The sex was more than decent because these chicks obviously really liked getting it on and getting their rocks off on camera.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Click here to watch FAN FEVER ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
So like many other porn movies out there, if you’re willing to fastscan through the mindless crap you will find enough heat to ignite your rocket.
Fan Fever gets three cocks-up for the hot sex and if the producers got these babes together for a fuck-flick that didn’t make your interest ebb with attempts at a story, and instead they just made a two hour raunch-fest with full on hardcore fucking from start to finish I bet they could earn themselves a five.