Phone sex
Spread ‘em apart
Our last Easter chocolate bunny fuck-fest review does not disappoint nor leave us with that foil wrapped bulk chocolate flavor in our mouths like the last few. It also covers more chocolate bases with a higher variety of flavors…white bunnies, black bunnies and some tan creamy caramel bunnies as well. I wonder if any of that creamy white chocolate (or by the end of their hot scene; cream-filled) is imported from Belgium. These chicks fuck as hot as bunnies for sure and their decadent sluttiness just feels so Euro.
This is a movie that you can watch in stages cos the heat and intensity is sure to make you cum several times before it’s over. Whether it’s one chick getting banged by a bunch of guys, or a couple sweet fuck bunnies together playing with each other AND getting banged by a bunch of guys, the action does not let up in this movie and these chicks love to fuck and obviously love getting filled doing so.
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There is no hole that does not get filled at some point in this movie, and the cream-filled and cream-covered goodness that these bunnies are craving gets delivered to them in mass quantities. Spread ‘em apart is one of the few must-see movies I have reviewed for its sheer heat and sluttiness and gets five cocks-up.Blue Jean Blondes 2
1970’s songwriter Leo Sayers had a big hit with the song ‘I pull my old blue jeans on’, looking at the blondes in this bodacious fuck-flick I would love to hit on them and pull their old blue jeans off. I don’t quite get if blue jeans are supposed to be a fetish or what the case is here, but if they are a fetish the people who get off on it are very lucky considering it’s a fetish catered to by 80% of the population.
Three scenes of sex and lust are portrayed for our pleasure but just like anything that has a bunch of blondes at the root of it, Blue Jean Blondes 2 lacks any originality at all.
Picture this in your head, it isn’t hard to do even if you’re as empty headed as a typical blonde, in blue jeans in the backyard showing off her body, then getting banged until it ends in noisy orgasms…multiply this times three and then you’ve got this movie down pat.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, when it comes to basic jack-off porn this movie has got those basics covered.
Blue Jean Blondes 2 gets three cocks-up, one for each of its scenes.
Black Cherry Coeds 4
Some people say that college age chicks are too old to appreciate and enjoy the chocolatey goodness of easter. I figure that good enough chocolate should always be appreciated and enjoyed, and college time is a primo time for getting your basket filled with ooey gooey creamy goodness. So here is one more easter offering of chocolate in need of cream.
So the formula is we have these obsidian beauties who allegedly go to college (I hope to hell they’re not taking acting, cos if they are they totally suck at it) and they get down to some down n dirty sex in their dorms with some black bruthas that they are fortunate enough to run into for some ebony on ebony exercising.
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The chicks in this movie were like hot sweet fudge that I would want to melt in my mouth anytime, but I just don’t get why so many of these movies are just one-on-one action. Like yknow, when I picture a young eager for cock sweet lookin black slut getting some action, I tend to picture a bunch of dudes and some dp action etc, all of which was lacking from Black Cherry Coeds 4. My other complaint with this movie is that although these black dudes did bang the hell out of these chicks, there should have been some inter-racial fucking as well…everybody knows that there’s a lot more white dudes than black dudes at a college, unless it’s a sports college.
Black Cherry Coeds 4 gets a semi-satisfying (kinda like those bulk foil-wrapped chocolates instead of creamy milk chocolate) three cocks-up.
Ass to Mouth 10
To paraphrase Steppenwolf in their satirical song about marijuana…’well it’s evil, wicked, mean, and nasty…most folks call it ass Sam’ and these chicks are the nastiest of the nasty, but if you’re a total perv like me, then that nasty is oh so nice. The ultra-sluts in this movie are so fucking slutty and ready for action with an intensity that tells you as soon as they start fucking that these are the kind of babes that are eager to do what straighter chicks only dream about in their darkest most decadent dreams.
Just like yesterday’s movie, we get a quintet of hot scenes but unfortunately even though Ass to Mouth 10’s a splooge-worthy fuck-flick, and as I said, the nasty nymphomania of these ass-sluts shines through, the producers I guess limited their sluttiness and you’re stuck with just one-on-one scenes.
Personally I would’ve exploited these babe’s insatiable appetites and it would’ve been gang-bang after gang-bang as they took those cocks in their holes and then showed us in multiples of what we get to see, how much they enjoy cleaning off a cock that has been plunged deep in their ass.
Speaking of plunges, this movie would have had five cocks-up if it had shown more hardcore intensity with multiple partners, but instead gets a solid four cocks-up for the sluttiness of the actresses.
Chocolate Gazongas
Time for some more double-dipping dark decadence as the countdown to easter continues with a chocolate quintet of creamy goodness.
I was at the mall earlier cruising past Laura Secord’s and I saw those big ass specialty huge freakin chocolate rabbits that they have…yknow the $300+ ones and I thought to myself…yeah man, some big chocolate bunnies sure would be tasty, so here we are with Chocolate Gazongas.
Dude…watching this flick and seeing these dark skinned fuck-divas of dusky decadence getting it on and how slutty they can be, I can understand why they were the ones so popular as slaves, cos man, I would own me some of that, but I guess when you want it as badly as these chicks do, it isn’t ownership it’s just enjoyment.
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Once again my problem with this movie is that it’s just all basic one-on-one sex through all five scenes, and when you have sluts that want it as much as these chicks, it’s a crime not to demonstrate all that they can do, and all that they can take. Which brings up the other thing I wonder about this movie…okay, these chicks have big tits and this one of them especially has a huge ass…now they call this ghetto booty, but if somebody’s from the ghetto, wouldn’t they have a bony starved ass?
Oh well…whatever, Chocolate Gazongas gets three and a half cocks-up. Only three cos of it all being one-on-one, but the extra half cos the chicks were hot.
Ass Jam
If there’s one thing that any good self-respecting slut enjoys for lunch, or as a snack at any point in the day…it’s a juicy jam sandwich, and if you want to enjoy a sandwich with any of the chicks in this stellar epic of anal sluttiness, cum on in cos both doors are always open. Now these kinda sluts are what porn was made for.
This is a movie you will have to watch in stages cos these chicks are so eager to get their holes filled that while you’re watching them, the experience is so sploogetastic that you’ll need a couple breaks to recharge.
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From beginning to end, these babes take it in both ends and for some of them even that’s not enough as they experiment filling their desires and their holes, be it pussy or ass with two cocks at a time for the ultimate double penetration…freakin hot, and after getting their holes pummelled they’re eager to suck these cocks off and take loads all over their faces and tits.
Ass Jam totally rocked as well as redefining the term jam sandwich and gets a full-on five cocks-up.
Chunky Backyard BBQ
Everybody knows that one of the tastiest parts of any big summertime barbecue is the succulent smell and taste of a stuffed pig skewered by a stake and sure enuff that’s the sweet taste throughout this movie. The chicks in this movie have sexual appetites as large and insatiable as their other appetites and show it in each and every scene as they score all the extra protein that they can off these dudes.
Unfortunately for this movie it fell prey to the folly of so many porn producers in that it tried to actually have a story. I frankly could not care less if this chick is on a diet, or if she’s breaking her diet, and I don’t see anybody else caring so why try and waste our time, that we could be jacking it to hot sex, with some dumbass storyline?
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We get four scenes and these chicks obviously dig playing with cock and getting fucked enough to raise the heat factor, it’s just a shame we’re not getting to watch them in some BBW milf fuckfest…pure sex man, that’s where they should be.
Chunky Backyard BBQ gets three cocks-up, and if they hadn’t wasted my time with their half-assed storyline, it would’ve been higher.
Black Bad Girls 17
Wooot Ho-down in Motown baby ! Chocolate Bunny fest continues with some bangin black bootlicious big boobed babes and these chicks dig any cock shoved their way as much as their boyfriends dig a large order of ribs with extra sauce. Unlike the previous chocolate bunny flick, Afro caribbean style, this one we get multiple hardcore fucking and lots of nice big black boobies.
Four scenes of inter-racial cream-stuffed oreo overtures pump away in front of us with a constant steady heat. First off some lucky dude gets totally fucked and sucked off by two dusky dames of delight and then the action continues indoors, outdoors and in these chicks front and back doors without letting up on the sluttiness factor for even a minute.
These are some cream-filled chocolate bunnies that I would love to enjoy over Easter and Black Bad Girls 17 is oh so bad in oh so many good ways and scores four cocks-up.
Amish Daughters
Thank god for Legend pictures that by definition no Amish person will ever get to watch this movie…somehow the portrayals I have gotten of Amish people from Hollywood doesn’t incline me to believe they would be highly amused, but since I’m not Amish, and even though I don’t dig storylines in porn movies, I gotta say, at times this was fucking funny as well as somewhat hot.
So we’re talking kind of an Amish version of The Gods Must Be Crazy. Some Amish chick finds a camcorder, dares to use it instead of just smashing it as a blashpemy against god (jesus Amish people are crazy) and then she begins her dark descent into decadence taking some sweet looking (once they get out of their weird Amish clothes) Amish friends of hers with her.
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The porn is pretty hot as well as the movie making you laugh a bit now and then, just like chicks anywhere in the world, it seems that once an Amish girl opens up that slutty side of her she just goes all the way man. No wonder Pennsylvania is the home of both Amish and Hershey, cos damn not only do these Amish chicks enjoy making that Hershey’s chocolate, but they sure like taking people for a ride down the Hershey Highway.
Amish Daughters, even though it has something of a storyline doesn’t try to be intelligent or have a real story, so combined with the decently hot sex it gets a very chaste four cocks-up.
Cluster Bang 2
Cluster Bang 2 is good solid XXX jackin material. Not a lot of fake frills and drudgy drama. Picture some fun times where guy meets girl meets guy meets girl meets guy meets girl…hormones are racing, endorphins are in the air and the fucking gets going and where it stops nobody knows. Now an easier way to picture that scenario is just watch this movie, cos that’s what it is.
Next they pull us into an outdoor fuck party where the action is hot as the sun that sizzles down shining on these naked fuck-bunnies. Then slowing down yet still showing us steady heat as a couple cock-craving cuties get it on with a couple well-hung dudes while they compete for who is the most slutty. This includes double penetration including double pussy pounding action.